stay by me

one true friend is better than thousands who know nothing but leech on you.

one true friend is better than thousands who didnt understand anything about you.

and i'm glad, i did not have only one, but many.

and i love all of them all the same.

dell- truly my best friend. without you,life will be so boring and lonely. the funny one. i can always find reasons to laugh when we are together.

sarah- always ready to share with me her secret and hear mine too. the sengal one. and the laziest too.haha. she really know how to pujuk me when i felt angry with her. cet.

syimah- my hometown buddy. without her, i wouldnt know what to do on holidays. a very sensitive, sweet and nice girl. we share the same unfortunate love story, would i say. syimah sangat manja. someone who really understand others pain, at least mine.

aidah- my long lasting friend. whatever happen, you have ur place in my heart.

zarifah- active kid in the block.heheh. very kind and considerate.

cdot- she said i'm the complicated one, but i would say its her. perfect word for her: unpredictable. well, if u know how to deal with her, its not dat painful, coz she's a real kind girl actually.

they are friends who had always been close to me, never leave me, regardless the situation. never leave me when they found other friends, and always ready to listen to me.

i love all of you. and i miss you, very much.

reminiscance/paranoid

recalling my past, is what i'd been doing these past few hours. practically, i'm looking back, once again, to what i was before, my condition, my life.. and everything.

and i cannot help the sigh that was coming out of my mouth, and my heart.

it was so different,so..so.. different, i wish i'm just dreaming all these while.
hatred cannot solve anything. it wont do. it takes absolute ignorance. but that's the only thing that i cannot do.

two papers of my final da lepas, and heat transfer was hell. somehow i dont really feel like grieving. i just let it go. like the saying goes, "its no use crying over the spilled milk". its no use too, regretting everything that i'd done, that had been done. just redha je, apa yang jadi.

failure is not the end. once i failed, i can always stand up and rise gracefully again.
i'm strong enough to do that. i wont cry because of my failure, because i dont ever want to admit that i'm defeated. i'm not defeated, i dont fail, it was just.. i slipped a bit. i can always stand up again.

i can.

dulu, when i felt like i was doing bad in examinations or tests, i would cry my eyes out, alone. grieving to myself, blaming myself over and over again, always worried of the outcome. i cannot sleep at all. it will haunt me.

maybe now i can deal with them better.yeah, i can.

and lately, i see lots of people changed their status. from single to being in a relationship.
"that's nice.."i thought. but i'm still afraid of love. paranoid, am i? haha. maybe.

because people change, and their hearts change.. it scares me. love.. can also change. no matter how much u tried.. it wont stay. they wont stay. they will leave you.me. i believe that.

why does people changed?

for now, single is the best option for me. thought it was lonely, very lonely sometimes. nak2 plak tengok my best buddy hari2 bergayut, yet i have no one to talk to, for me to tell about my day, my happiness, my sorrow, it is still okay. i'll wait till this wound heal completely first. *jeling2 dell yg sedang bergayut di luar. bila nak masuk bilik ni.."

everyone, please pray that i can get through all of these obstacles beautifully.
pray that we will all succeed together.

(sedikit sedutan ringkas perbualan bersama nana di pizza hut)

me: nana, pior dah berapa lama fly?
nana: hm..dua bulan
me: selalu ke call?
nana:hari-hari. tapi x la lama sangat. 5 -10 minit je.
me: korang x gaduh2 ke? nak clash2 ke? maklumlah, jauh
nana: x la, x pernah gaduh.
me: oh, ye ke?*muka terkejut*
nana: nape?
me: haha.bagusla korang.

good for you,nana n pior. i know both of u are different. my last hope.haha
gud luck!

p.s: nana, jgn marah. btw, tangan ira sakit gle harini pas main percussion semalam. it was very fun. i really enjoyed myself with u.tq!len kali jom test nada lagi.hehe

where you are

malam td.. when i was studying with dell kat pantry
suddenly laptop dia play this song by jessica simpson feat nick lachey, her ex hubby

siap ada music video lagi
the song title is

"WHERE YOU ARE"

and i'm a person who can be easily touched by sad song, with deep and beautiful lyrics
the way jessica and nick sing that song mmg sangat2 sweet and emotional

i put all my focus on that song mv, melody and lyrics

and suddenly i felt difficult to breath
and tears rolling down my cheek

i cried.haha

sometimes a good cry is all i need to wash away my misery
feeling sad and crying just showed dat after all, i still have a soft heart.
maybe this is a new start.

try listening to dat song. lagu lama actually. sedih!

fight

the battle will begin very soon

and i have to prepare myself

to conquer the battle

whatever happen

i will stay strong and awake

pray for me that i'll win

the big battle

my final exam

woooooooooohhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

*stressed*

senyum sorang2

harini pergi UM
ada majlis perasmian kumpulan rakan siswa jasa
da one that i went to the camp last week tu
dapat makan free. *big YEAY!!!*

first jugak kat UM tu.. dgr speech by dato' seri utama Dr Rais Yatim
ingatkan bosan. rupanya sangat best
sindiran n teguran dalam lawak
bahasa yang bombastik. beberapa kali saya n dell terpinga2 menafsir kata2 yg sungguh dramatis
bila da faham... 'oooooooo'.... yang panjang dikeluarkan
jarang aku x terlentok masa ucapan. tp yg ni.. mata bulat sampai habis.hehe
lawak3..

pertama kali saya faham nape dia jadi menteri penerangan,komunikasi n kebudayaan
haha'

n kat sana jugak
saya selalu senyum sorang-sorang
gelak secara tiba2
dell tumpang mengusik je.
owh,berjumpa jejaka idaman. bukan PMS
BUKAN
mungkin saya keliru.apa yang saya nak ye?
tak nak pape pon
cukuplah dulu saya terluka
sekarang, masa ni.. tengok2 senyum2 sorang2 pon boleh

dah cukup happy mcm tu
saya dah lama kenal dia. em,x lama sangat la.2 minggu kot. tp x berani nak tegur
biarlah. tak nak dipersalahkan kemudian hari

senyum,senyum n senyum lagi
dell kata, dah lama saya x senyum mcmtu
senyum yg lain dr yg lain. owh,sy mmg happy
kenapa sy suka dia? sebab saya dgr dia azan, sy semayang berimamkan dia
hati saya terusik. terus suka.
bukan saya tunjuk baik atau bajet baik, cuma
hati saya yg terdetik mcm tu.apa nak buat?

PMS? dia terlalu jauh n berbeza dr saya
kami bagai enggang n pipit
x pe la.sy just adore dia, bukan pape pon
dia pn rasanya dah berpunya
n prinsip saya, pakwe orang jgn kacau

karang kene warning laaagiiiiii
hehe

ok la, saya mengantuk
nak senyum sorang2 lagi
nak tdo
moga malam ni mimpikan dia.haha

suka x bermakna cinta
because like selalu dimisconcept as love
distinguish them well,people

selepas itu

haih.. had been quite some time since the last time i really wrote something in this blog.
no particular reasons, just being too busy and lazy. in a blink of eyes, end of semester is coming nearer, thus, u know, 'that' also datang menghampiri. what is 'that'?

yes, think u guess right. FINAL EXAM!!!

OH MY GOD

this semester had been very though so far, lots of new, complex things being pushed and shoved inside my brain continuosly. blur, mmg blur. busy, tapi boring. know well there's a lots of things to be done, immediately, coz yeah, the time is running out, but i stand still, numb in my own step. in my own feet, at the same place. please, give me the courage, the spirit to take a step foward, and STUDY! just a step more, and everything will be fine. that's my wish.

ujian tuhan datang dan pergi, and every each of them surely give me courage to survive in life, to be a person with a bigger heart, and a stronger will. no matter what comes, i wont fall, because i am not a weak person. i had been tormented by fear, loneliness, pain, being left, and my own inferiority, but everytime i feel lost, surely i'll find my way out.

u r not gonna beat me. it's easier to be mean, and i know i have a sharp tongue, very sharp if i do intend to make a counter-attact, but i wont use dat. numerous people have been speechless by that. but i wish to be a nice person, a kind person, who will be loved, one day, by a kind person too. InsyaAllah.

after all, i'm really a nice girl (hehe. perasan la kot.tp apa salahnya)

and uh, finally last weekend i went jugak to the camp that i really didnt want to go to at first. maybe i'll tell the story about dat later. very intresting, and challenging.

gotta go now! have to get ready for this evening's presentation and jamuan raya(love that)
a bit nervous to see 'that person'. my PMS.

(gle la, my PMS la sangat.. din, jangan gelak kay)

ok,jg cepat melatah

sabar, aisyahira sabar
yeah i know u do have many2 problems rite now
studies, works etc
and you are stressed enough

yet

yeah u know better what u just got td kan..aisyahira?
and accusation yg buatkan u rasa nak tergelak2
and at the same time soo angry and sad

haih..i dun want to explain anything
i'm getting so tired of those people
if only that person know
that he called me first, not me
tsk.tsk.tsk.

and interfering?oh no no no
when i heard my name, yeah i know it is my bussiness
just wanna tell that person's special one to shut his mouth lil bit
not to say anything unnecessary bout me
so that person wont get hurt(and me too)
but unfortunately that person misunderstood
ok then, up to u guys
i dun care a thing bout ur fights anymore

and i did contact him,out of boredoom
by ym
and please... talking about puasa
n weather n a story about my memorable moment with a senior that
i adore..just that.hm..are those too much for u?
ops sorry.pity then.
if such little thing bugs u that much, what can i say

contact him again pas ni?we'll see
but for now, i dun hve a heart langsung to talk to him
keep him all u like

i mean what i said before
and i tried my best to be nice n wish for ur guys happiness
perhaps, i'm wrong

its easier to be mean


i can stand being hurt.
but i cant stand it when i feel like my pride dipijak2
a warning?tsk. orait


cool aisyahira cool. u know better, ur best friends know better.
ignore what a stranger said

kecewa sangat2

seriously, sepanjang aku hidup
x pernah rasa kecewa macam yg aku rasa harini
kecewa sampai rasa nak menangis

sakit mcm kene siat2 hati aku
perlu ke buat macam tu?

everything should have a limit
bet u didnt knw it, after all

that's it

finally, after weeks of doubts
i went there, thanks to Sarah.

finally, i know, how does it feel
seeing that person after 1 year and 5 months
thought i just want to hide and watch in silence
but i changed my mind
thinking this is the last time
i dont want to live in regret later

but i think i do great in disguising myself
hehe
maybe i can use that some time later

but, that question,
"So what are we now?"
left me speechless
tons of words to be said, but nothing come out

laughed again.

gud luck, and do your best. and dont make your girl sad

suddenly

harini my house jemput saudara mara sebelah abah datang ke rumah.
maklumlah raya, ala2 open house gtu.tp terhad kat family je. half open la kot

so..from yesterday,mmg pulun habis la buat kerja. i bake chocolate moist cake, and yeah.. jadila la jugak, maybe not as good as yg i did kat kampung waktu raya first dulu, sebab telur x fresh, dah masuk angin, plus ayak tepung hilang, so bedal2 je.hehe

esok nak bake cheesecake. mom's request. :) hehe

looks like suddenly i'm so into baking kan? mak tang pon dah ajak join venture for her future cafe/bakery..kikiki. konon jek.. still lots more to learn. but yeah, i'd started to love it. dah bosan/master(cewah!!!!!!) masak2 lauk serius, baking la pulak.hihihi (perasann)

pastu.. time busy2 ni, to distract myself from feeling tired and boring, mulalah otak ni merayau2 pergi ke memory's pool yang terpendam tuh..

and..

suddenly terinagt zaman2 sekolah dulu.. n lately baru2 ni get in touch dgn budak sekolah rendah yg da lama lost contact..oh, sangat gembira..
and suddenly lagi..

terasa rindu kat kawan2 yg da lama x jumpa..

sarah, syimah, aidah, cdut, zerp, nadia, amir, kamar, azran, KA, dell(yg ni selalu ha jumpa), dhira, sheikh, n ramai lg la... kalaulah boleh jumpa korang..

nak2 plak girls kelas jasa f4,f5 + amir + kamar

maybe diorang x la rasa mcm tu kat aku.. tp seriously.. i love them
amir n kamar, i think they are the nicest guy n kawan yg sangat baik.. rajin.. sistematik.. mmg respek sangat kat diorang. my neighbors kat kelas jasa...

haha.tu je la kot. tetibe sentimental. nak g kemas2. da~~

listen,guys...

ok..somewhat my previous post creates some flame rite?
for that, first of all, i want to apologize to every overseas students, thou i dun really understand why i should because:

1. that post is juz about A PERSON. bukan semua. think i da state clearly kat post tu, yg post tu juz maybe about sbilangan.bukan semua.

lagipun, i know i ada ramai kawan2 yg fly but diorang still sngt rendah diri n baik hati, such as amir, kama, tkuk, sarah... n ramai lagi. i mmg respect gle kat diorang.. they are my dear2 friends..

2. i ada hak utk tulis. bukan korang tau pn kan..sape org tu. lgpn blog tu blog public, dia bg sume org baca, i boleh baca la kan? and i do know that person pny personality, it suits her. i juz hope she will change, and i da pn cakap kat dia,pe yg i nak cakap. maybe dia da delete da pn kot post dia.

no case umpat di sini.

3. I'm a straightfoward person. bear with it, or dont read.

4. I dun think sape2 yg baca post ni perlu rasa marah or tercabar if diorang tak mempunyai ciri2 seperti yg dinyatakan dalam my previous post tu..kan?

bak kata pepatah, 'sape makan cili..dia yang terasa pedasnya'

5. Phase yg sama: dua sebab je, anda baca post yg sama(kebetulan di mana2) or mmg sekadar kebetulan. ayat yg i tulis tu actually da tapis 3 kali da, tak nak bg orang hot sangat tau.

like i said before: ayat yg serupa berlambak kat dunia ni. maybe tu kata2 pakar motivasi kem dia ke, pape ke.. mana la tau

tu je.

papepun, kepada semua, i still nak minta maaf, kalau ada yg mengeliat kepedasan. hehe. anggaplah tu teguran.. saya pn x sebaik mana, cuma tak salah kalau saya nak tegur kan?
sekali lg saya tekankan.. post tu bukan pasal SEMUA budak g oversea.. sebab..

my big brother pn study luar negara gak. takkan la i nak kutuk abang i sendiri pulak kan..

sekian, SELAMAT HARI RAYA.MAAF ZAHIR BATIN

aku terbaca sesuatu

ada seseorang menulis di sesuatu tempat
katany
" we are going to be overseas graduates,
people yang every company compete to hire"

and some lil more.(tak perlu dicoretkan)
Oh My God
sombongnya anda

tak sangka, itu rupanya apa yg sebahagian people yg study oversea fikir.
mungkin hanya sebilangan, tp kesannya tp terasa
kepada pelajar local mcm saya
adakah taraf kami begitu rendah di mata anda?

mungkin, kami tidak sebijak anda.
ye lah, anda kan brilliant, tu yg g oversea tu kan..

jangan takbur.

p.s: bukan semua orang mcm tu. just pada yg 'terasa' je 'pedasnya' ok...

back to being mean me nowdays..

.

raya is fun
but something is missing
i can sense it

p.s: x payahla hipokrit2. i dun need ur support dah. ok? faham?

The hole's getting bigger

yes,it is
in my heart

because i think i finally understand now
that everything.. all of it might be just faked..

all this time u were pretending, so much for my happy ending
right?

thank you,so much

Sleep?

rapid posting.hehe
mana2 x sempat baca yg previous..silela baca dulu ek..

nothing much to say actually..
just i'm sooo tired!
because of the mass transfer test
i havent had much sleep for a week
well, since i got my test 1 result, actually

i'm the kind of person who think a lot before i go to sleep
termenung, mind wandering around restlessly
about everything
past n now n future

and i did think a lot about my test
and i cant sleep because of that
so in a day, if i dont get a chance for evening nap
usually, i'll sleep for just 4 hours, maximum

and its not enough for a girl/student like me
where's my beauty sleep?? dark circle formed dekat mata
and i get headache, lots of it
plus i'd been reading a lots nowdays
difficult stuff plak tu

so i think u can imagine how 'tepu' n tired my brain is

still, i cant sleep
insomnia?

owh~

Alhamdulillah, again n again

Alhamdulillah

10 20 pm, i'd finished answering completely

the mass transfer quiz

and i think i'd done it very2 well

feel like my hard work had paid off

and my prayers had been answered by Allah

no words can describe the happiness

just..

Alhamdulillah

terima kasih Allah

The Mass Transfer

mass transfer sngt menakutkan

stages

oh, stages

apa yg anda fikir bile stages disebut?

pentas-pentas?

peringkat kehidupan?

oh tidak

dalam mass transfer, ia lebih dr itu

mungkin korang akan pening

jika diterangkan di sini

formulanya sngt kompleks

berserta graf yg perlu diplot

dan jgn lupa, material balance

adun3... dapatlah stages

sungguhku tak faham

tak mengapa, akan ku teruskan usaha

doakan kejayaan kami pelajar2 chemical engineering

2nd year

tolong

1%

"To tell the truth,

love is 99% pain.

but that's why

the remaining 1% is so amazing"

isn't that so?

the best thing about love?

the happiness

the worst thing about happiness?

you might lose it

the worst thing about losing it?

you might never get over the pain

the best thing about getting over it?

you will become stronger, wiser and more than u used to be

thought so.

a new day has come

mulai hari ini.. saya, nur aisyahira binti ab hadi berjanji, akan belajar mass transfer btol2!!!!!!!
i have 5 days before test 2, and i'll do my best.

i'll study hard

well,i'd never give up before da last moment pon

dats me lgpon..hehe

sometimes i felt so scared

but for now, i'll juz do my best

and people who really2 know me

know that i'm a person who rise

from terrible challange and stress

setakat ni, it works

and i'm working hard to make it work again.

gud luck to me..

hehe

gud day everyone!!


p.s: i'm a strong lady...nak challange? gusti tangan jom...

happy?

people do love happy endings a lots rite?

of course la kan~

sape yg nak sedey2..sume nak bergembira

tp..

that is impossible rite?

to make everyone happy

nak puaskan hati semua orang..

we cant have everything yg kita nak kat dunia ni

kan?

p.s: a lil bit stressed lately. dunno y, tp rasa hidup dicontrol.. haha. kalau korang perasan la, post pn makin lama makin pendek. juz being careful. hav to jaga hati orang thou diz is my blog. dell, naty teman aku g bayar bil tenet.