recalling my past, is what i'd been doing these past few hours. practically, i'm looking back, once again, to what i was before, my condition, my life.. and everything.
and i cannot help the sigh that was coming out of my mouth, and my heart.
it was so different,so..so.. different, i wish i'm just dreaming all these while.
hatred cannot solve anything. it wont do. it takes absolute ignorance. but that's the only thing that i cannot do.
two papers of my final da lepas, and heat transfer was hell. somehow i dont really feel like grieving. i just let it go. like the saying goes, "its no use crying over the spilled milk". its no use too, regretting everything that i'd done, that had been done. just redha je, apa yang jadi.
failure is not the end. once i failed, i can always stand up and rise gracefully again.
i'm strong enough to do that. i wont cry because of my failure, because i dont ever want to admit that i'm defeated. i'm not defeated, i dont fail, it was just.. i slipped a bit. i can always stand up again.
i can.
dulu, when i felt like i was doing bad in examinations or tests, i would cry my eyes out, alone. grieving to myself, blaming myself over and over again, always worried of the outcome. i cannot sleep at all. it will haunt me.
maybe now i can deal with them better.yeah, i can.
and lately, i see lots of people changed their status. from single to being in a relationship.
"that's nice.."i thought. but i'm still afraid of love. paranoid, am i? haha. maybe.
because people change, and their hearts change.. it scares me. love.. can also change. no matter how much u tried.. it wont stay. they wont stay. they will leave you.me. i believe that.
why does people changed?
for now, single is the best option for me. thought it was lonely, very lonely sometimes. nak2 plak tengok my best buddy hari2 bergayut, yet i have no one to talk to, for me to tell about my day, my happiness, my sorrow, it is still okay. i'll wait till this wound heal completely first. *jeling2 dell yg sedang bergayut di luar. bila nak masuk bilik ni.."
everyone, please pray that i can get through all of these obstacles beautifully.
pray that we will all succeed together.
(sedikit sedutan ringkas perbualan bersama nana di pizza hut)me: nana, pior dah berapa lama fly?nana: hm..dua bulanme: selalu ke call?nana:hari-hari. tapi x la lama sangat. 5 -10 minit je.me: korang x gaduh2 ke? nak clash2 ke? maklumlah, jauhnana: x la, x pernah gaduh.me: oh, ye ke?*muka terkejut* nana: nape?me: haha.bagusla korang.good for you,nana n pior. i know both of u are different. my last hope.haha
gud luck!
p.s: nana, jgn marah. btw, tangan ira sakit gle harini pas main percussion semalam. it was very fun. i really enjoyed myself with u.tq!len kali jom test nada lagi.hehe